I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
you will always have a special place in my vag
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize