I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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