Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Randomize
