FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
