He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
too bad you live with your parents still
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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