I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I see more hoeing in ur future
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