There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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