Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
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