I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
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