:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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