And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
