He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
