I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
