By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
