theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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