"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Randomize
