So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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