dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize
