What a fucking waste of an outfit
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
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