Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
