People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
