What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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