dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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