Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
