Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize