I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
We're too hungover to prance.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize
