i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
