Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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