And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
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