sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
