Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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