Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
My breasts were aching with rage.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize