wat bout pragnant strippers??
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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