He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
