It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Randomize
