Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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