I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
