We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Let's paint friendship bongs
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
