I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
