Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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