I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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