her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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