remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
