A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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