But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
