Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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