So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
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