One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Boobs are out for the taking
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
