are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
