all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize