just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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