Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
