Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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