She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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