I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
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