Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
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