porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
