My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
