just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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