there's paper in my vomit.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
