This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
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