How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
