why didn't you poke me back
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize
