Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
North Korea, Best Korea!
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
