were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize
